Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
