all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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