i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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