you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry about my life...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
