well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
