My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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