He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
