would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
