I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
