I'll bet she douches with gravy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
