We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
