when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
