You really coming over, don't trick.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
