Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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