I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
