It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
