He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
