my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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