I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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