it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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