nut hugger
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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