Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This is my gift to your gina
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
