Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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