coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
