do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
