I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
