That's intense
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
