As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
