Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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