i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
