doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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