Kiss
Puke
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
