piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
