If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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