3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
