where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
