You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
