god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
