How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
