I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
