You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
