Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
