Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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