I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
