dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
