just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
