I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
this is an emotional support booty call
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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