Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
