he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
