Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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