i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
