there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
