I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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